listening to: 'gold dust woman' - fleetwood mac
another day that ends in me feeling frustrated, annoyed, irritated...
it's all these little petty things, which if it was somebody else wouldn't bother me at all. but i'm sick sick sick of dealing with this bullshit. people need to get real, grow a backbone, and stand up for themselves. and other people need to stop being so manipulative and sketchy.
what i wonder is, how people can let themselves be treated so badly. i can understand caring about somebody so much that you are scared of losing them, or not wanting to interfere if you see something happening to other people, but the fact is if you don't stand up for yourself, who will? part of being a valuable human being is having opinions, and another part of being a valuable human being is treating other people well. people who take pleasure in seeing other people suffer are certainly not people i have any time for.
as much as im over being single right now, i wouldn't want to be in a relationship with any of the guys from my past. what is the point of being in a hurtful relationship? the way they have all eventually treated me just shows me that they aren't worth my time. there have been times when i thought i had met the right one, but in the end their true colours came out in full force - and they turned out to be just another retard. wherever the right guy for me is, i wouldn't find him if i was with one of the losers from earlier times. holding onto the wrong person just means missing the right one.
in other news, my exam timetable for this semester came out today. i have coms201 - theory of communication studies - on oct. 24; coms206 - history of media - on oct. 25; psyc112 - human thought & behaviour - on oct. 29. can you tell i'm super excited? i'm already waaay behind in my readings, therefore should definitely not be wasting my time blogging. but at this stage, there is nobody i can really talk to completely. there are too many little nuances in my personality that i regret showing to anybody, even if it was only one person. i guess these i am never really wholly honest with anybody other than myself. i guess i'm not even wholly honest in this blog. but it takes the edge of a bit.
i wonder what makes us feel completely comfortable with somebody? how do you know you've reached that point with someone? where even prolonged silence is a cozy place to be. you don't have to worry anymore about the reaction what you say will get, or if you do you know it won't change or effect anything too much. when do you get to a point when opening up is just some intrinsically natural thing to do? thus brings me to my chosen topic for todays blog: it reminds me of my most favourite satc quote:
"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous".
And that, friends, romans, countrymen, is why carrie is the gospel.
ps: i bought those yellow heels i was talking about. cos, as carrie so wisely says, sometimes it's hard to walk in a woman's shoes - which is why we need super special ones sometimes. she really is one heck of a chick: bring on satc the movie 2008!
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