lonesome tonight

listening to: 'the promise' - tracy chapman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISSTz1xxdRw

Together again

It would feel so good to be

In your arms

Where all my journeys end

If you can make a promise

If it's one that you can keep

I vow to come for you

If you wait for me and say you'll hold

A place for me in your heart.

sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. but really what i'm saying is, it's always there. i have just learned how to hide it sometimes. but the unfortunate part of that wee deal is this: you can't hide from yourself. you can't pretend to be one thing when you know you're not really. facades are facades because there is always at least one person who knows the truth.

it isn't that i am longing for one person specifically, although the time with him was when i've been at my truly happiest. if that's even a correct, gramatically or otherwise, phrase. but i knew - correction: thought i knew - i had someone there to talk to, whether the conversation was mundane or soulsearching. i haven't reached a point yet where i'm comfortable soulsearching on my own. but perhaps that is the point: maybe i have some work to do before i can meet someone who makes me feel like i used to.

i'm so sick of being the lonely one. sooo sick of it. why are the people who don't care about love [etc] the ones who have it? why can't i have someone to talk to? my friends are fantastic. but the thing with all of them is, they all have someone who they can claim as their "significant other". but who am i significant to??

i'm tired of going to bed at night, lying there alone, wishing i had somebody to talk to... and i'm tres tired of crying over something as stupid as this dumb blog.